Mayer Family Blog
Andy Mayer

Founder of Agile web agency Yoomee that makes cool social web platforms for social change. Geek, father, husband, Lotus fan and keen fencer - touché!

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Joel

2 sep 99 at 2:26am Joel was brought into the world by the surgeons at Northern General Hospital. He was delivered by caesarean section after Nicola tried for over 24 hours to coax him into this world. But that is a story in itself….

Every child comes with the message that God is not yet tired of the man.
Rabindranath Tagore, Indian Poet (1861-1941)

olli log (part 1) 

Week 1

Nothing. Week one and nothing to report. This is how our baby started its life, from nothing.

Week 2

Tuesday Evening, November 23rd: Something special happens tonight, inside Nicola’s body and unbeknown to us a new life is created: Olli. This life starts with a 7-10 day journey down Nicola’s fallopian tube to the uterus. Cell division begins immediately and continues throughout this journey.

Week 3

Olli is now implanted in Nicola’s uterus. He’’s between 0.1 and 0.2mm in diameter. Cell division continues. In the darkness of the womb, a miracle is quietly underway. We attend the company Christmas party on Friday night and I make a fool of myself. I do not realise I am a father.

Week 4

The amount of pregnancy hormone hCG in Nicola’s urine gives the game away. On Friday 11th 1998 whilst driving home from work, I’m on the phone to Nicola. Wanting to wait until I’m home she doesn’t tell me what she has discovered. But I guess. The news is broken. I cry with happiness all the way home, down the M180 and into Nicola’s arms. Nothing in my world will ever be the same again. Nothing.

Week 5

I haven’t slept all week. Excitement. It’s amazing how much is happening so quickly. Olli is now an embryo. His heart has started to beat; he now has a head and tail; he is 1.5 - 2.5 mm; The size of a capital B on the printed page.

Week 6

This week is a busy week as we fly to Italy for the Christmas holidays. This week is also a busy one for Olli . His larynx has started to form and so has his inner ear. His heart is bulging from the tiny 5mm body. Blood circulation is well established. Upper and lower limb buds have appeared this week. And the beginnings of the liver, pancreas, lungs, and stomach are evident.

Week 7

25th December: For Christmas Olli gets tiny hand plates, nasal pits and a second set of kidneys. Olli will actually go through 3 sets of kidneys, very rapidly as they develop during this period. He’s now about 8mm long, the size of an olive. Nicola shows no public signs that she is pregnant.

Week 8

Back to work after the Christmas break. I’m now living a double life. A public one of steady normality, and a private one of insane joy. Insane because I cannot see, hold or touch the source of my joy. I can only believe.

The text books tell us that from this point on the fetal body may burst into motion, achieving graceful, stretching, and rotational movements of the head, arms and legs. Bones and joints this week have many things going on. Elbows appear and the process of hardening begins.

Week 9

Olli is now a boy or a girl. Either or. But not both I hope. For the next ten weeks we incorrectly refer to Olli as “she” and bond with a girl. Our mistake not his.

Week 10

Olli is approximately 13-17 mm and weighs one gram. Still, Nicola does not look pregnant.

Week 11

Apparently hand to head, hand to face, hand to mouth movements, mouth opening, closing, and swallowing are all present at 10 weeks. I wish I could hold, feel and touch the baby. Must have faith.

Week 11

I go to Copenhagen this week. I hope and pray that Olli is ok. At the weekend we have the first visit from the midwife. She asks the father’s name, and not thinking I nearly say my father-in-law’s name! “The name of the father” repeats the midwife. I speak and she writes “Father: Andrew Conan Mayer”. That’s me. Amazing.

Later, she puts a handheld device on Nicola’s stomach and we hear the sounds of Nicola’s gurgling digestive system and whooshing heart beat. Then the most amazing thing happens, through this watery noise the sound of a faster, tighter, independent rhythm emerges, the sound of a tiny human heart, beating eagerly with life. Beating like the rhythm of a fast train, pushing on towards its destination. Birth.

Week 12

This week Olli’s ears complete formation. By coincidence Nicola plays her clarinet on Sunday. Maybe the first sound to fill these embryonic ears is the tuneful reverberation of Nicola’s lungs. It’s not until week 16 however, that Olli with be able to hear properly.

olli log (part 2)

Week 13

Welcome to the second trimester! It’s the 8th of February and already Olli should have twenty teeth that are formed and waiting. He should weigh approximately 28 grammes. His intestines are migrating from the umbilical cord into his abdomen. The villi are also forming in the intestines, these help in peristaltic movements and digestion. The pancreas is even secreting insulin!.

Week 14

It’s February 15th. This week Olli is due for his first scan at the hospital. A scan of what I wonder? Nicola’s stomach still looks flat as normal. But within seconds of entering the ultrasound room, the nurse connects Nicola up, and taps a few keys on the machine. Instantly the glowing computer screen comes alive with pictures of a perfectly formed minute human being, reclining on his back, rapidly kicking his legs, punching the air, turning his head around, having a good time.

“Is that our baby?” I stutter, choked with emotion. “Oh yes” replies the nurse nonchalantly, zooming in on Olli’s head to reveal a perfectly formed walnut-like brain. For the next few minutes Nicola and I are transfixed to the screen. Where did this little person come from? So fully human, yet only 10cm long. He’s doing back stroke now, pushing off with his right foot. Then to our amazement, his heads turns to look straight at us. “Hello Mummy and Daddy.”

Week 15

This week I’m in Copenhagen again. My Danish colleagues comment on Olli’s scan picture that I’ve proudly broadcast to the world on the Internet. “He’s got your hairstyle” everybody jokes.

When I return home on Thursday, to my delight Nicola has a bump. Curled up, Olli is now the size of a tennis ball and has decided to poke Nicola’s tummy button out. I can hardly believe that this is just the beginning.

Week 16

1st March. Listening begins at 16 weeks. To Olli, Nicola’s voice is particularly powerful because it is transmitted to the womb through her own body reaching the fetus in a stronger form than outside sounds.

Week 17

This week I’m away again working in the Copenhagen office. Without a father figure, I hope Olli doesn’t go off the rails.

Apparently, studies have recorded fetal erections from as early as 16 weeks, often in conjunction with finger sucking, suggesting that pleasurable self-stimulation is already possible. “Olli behave!”

Week 18

19th March. Home again. Although Nicola looks gorgeous, she is alarmed at the size of her bump, and is convinced that this is not normal. I reassure her that it is; At about 21 cm total length, Olli is growing rapidly and now weighs 198g, the same as my mobile phone - seven times more than five weeks ago!

Also Olli now has finger prints - should he commit a crime later in life these will help the police to uniquely identify him from the other 6 billion people he will be sharing the planet with.

Week 19

After many prayers we enter the hospital for the first detailed scan. I am terrified what they will find. A thousand scenarios fill my mind. On the screen the consultant flashes up cross sections of various body parts and organs. Not as cute as the scan five weeks ago. But the intricacies of detail amaze me; vertebrae, tiny femur, minute knuckles.

The ultrasonographer asks if we want to know the sex. “I’m suprised you haven’t seen it on the screen” she says almost blushing. Apparently Olli takes after his Dad!

Olli is camera shy and won’t turn around so we have return next week for more.

Week 20

This week Olli is in the right position. The consultant spends a long time looking at Olli’s heart; too long. We nearly die of worry. “Mmmm….” he says with a concerned tone. Fear beyond description grips us both. Urgently he beckons his underlings over. Then, to our relief he proclaims simply: “Look at this, a perfect demonstration of heart operation….”

“Is everything OK?” we ask. If only the reply was a simple “Yes”. Instead the consultant says “Yes….but the amniotic fluid appears to be on the high side.” Then he adds “But it’s nothing to worry about.” As if.

Week 21

I spend most of this week consoling Nicola that Oll’s amniotic fluid is not cause for concern, just above average. My hairline is above average. That’s life.

Week 22

We start bonding with a boy instead of a girl. For the first 20 weeks we were convinced Olli was a “she”. I hope this hasn’t left any psychological scars!

Nicola gets an email from Olli, saying that he’s OK and there is no need for concern about the amount of fluid: He just likes to splash about a bit.

I go away again to work in Copenhagen for the week.

Week 23

17 April . Whilst driving the car to a friend’s wedding I reach over casually to touch Nicola’s bump. To my astonishment, Olli promptly kicks me back! I nearly crash the car and am speechless for a while. Nicola laughs, tears of joy fill my eyes. Again, the miracle of life washes over me and I wonder if this little one will ever be aware of how much he is loved!

At the wedding we are seated on a table of young professional parents. Within minutes the conversation turns to breastfeeding, sex etc. Five months ago I would have died of embarrassment, now it’s normal talk with strangers. We also take this opportunity to check out the impressive array of baby equipment in use by these real-life parents, and discuss life style changes ahead.

Week 24

26 April. Olli’s tiny little finger nails are almost fully formed and the lanugo is also darkening. Olli is still growing in preparation for the journey of birth, now weighing in at about 1 lb 5 ounces (595g) and measuring 30 cms or 11.8 inches total length!

Oh I nearly forgot … Olli’s ears are now finished.

Week 25

1st May. This week we get a buyer for our house. It’s a complete surprise because we haven’t had much interest over the past three months. Our plan is to move out of the country and into the city of Sheffield.

This means we must find a place to live in before the end of June. The next few months will be fraught as we take on board yet more changes - such as quadruple property prices, urban living, relocation etc. The biggest concern is continuity of health care - the system will not cope with pregnant mothers moving in their third trimester. It seems that people just do not do this sort of thing. Surely this can’t be the case. Anyway Nicola is adamant that we must do it now, not later.

Week 26

10 May. Olli begins to open his eyes. The uterus also allows some light to be seen so Olli will be aware of light and dark.

Researchers have discovered that babies are dreaming as early as 23 weeks when rapid eye movement in sleep is first observed. Sweet dreams

To be continued…